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Hello! This is my first posting on, so please, please...
be gentle. Lots of ooc, and goofyness, but fun to write. Oh yes, Kiyoko, you should recognize the new person. :)

12 Days of Christmas (Yugioh Style)

All of the Yugioh cast and crew are sitting (some standing) around in the school auditorium on the stage. Yugi is sitting talking to Yami, Tristan and Joey are arguing over whose idea it was to come here and do this stupid musical.

Tea is standing over by the wall listening to her new Britney Spears CD, while Mai is flirting with Kaiba, who's oblivious to her. Pegasus is standing in the corner sing some Christmas song to himself too overly happy. The others are just talking to each other.

As Joey and Tristan started to get physical, a short lady with curly brown hair, and triple thick-framed glasses walked in. She stepped onto the stage in a red and green pant suit, as she adjusted the green scarf around her neck she spoke loudly to catch everyone's attention. "Hello everyone!" Everyone except Joey and Tristan turned to face the woman.

With two quick thumps from Tea to Joey's head, and an elbow to Tristan's side from Bakura, they both shut up. "I'm really glad that you all came here to participate in this years Christmas musical." she turned to Kaiba who is now trying to fling Mai off his arm and escape her. "Especially you Mr. Seto Kaiba."

Tea stood up giggling and smiling. "Miss. Prelaxen, I for one am ready to make this year's ending song as groovilicous as you wanted it to be"she said smiling and giggling. "Oh yes, fabulous Tea, just fabulous! I feel more confident now." Miss Prelaxen said clapping her hands together in happiness.

Joey looks at Tristan and shakes a fist in his face. "Ya, idiot why you tell this nutcase we'd help?" Joey whispered furiously to Tristan. He was about to reply until Miss Prelaxen interrupted him. "Okay, this is your order. Tea, Mai, Seto, Joey, Pegasus, Tristan, Yugi, Bakura, Mokuba, Grandpa, and Yami." She stopped and looked at all of them. "And the rest of you can sing the other part." Miss Prelaxen walked over to a black cushion chair and sat down.

"Okay, lights, camera, sing!" Miss Prelaxen smiled. Tea clears her throat and starts, "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a Yugi sitting in a pear tree!" She smiles and winks at an embarrassed Yugi. He sighs as he drops his head, "This is going to be a long rehearsal."

Mai smiles brightly at Kaiba as she begins, "On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two diamond rings." she winks flirty at Kaiba and latches onto his arm.

"And a Yugi sitting in a pear tree." Tea blows a kiss over to Yugi as she inches over to him. Yugi shakes nervously and begins to sweat.

Kaiba is shaking his arm feverously, as he tries to escape from Mai money-hungry grip. "On the..uh….third day true love gave to me, bl...ue eyes!" Kaiba said struggling to get her off of him. "Dammit woman let me go!" Kaiba yelled flaying his arm in every direction.

"Two diamond rings!" she holds on even tighter. "Darling, I'd like to have something big, but not to big. Something gold, nothing fake..." As Mai continued on Kaiba continued to fight her.

Tea opens her mouth as she squirts in some peppermint breath spray, "And a Yugi sitting in a pear tree." she comes closer and starts to run her hand threw Yugi's hair. Yugi jumps up to sit on the other side of Yami.

Joey looks at Kaiba and begins laughing, "Hey what's the matter highness, don't like your little fan club?" Joey laughs harder and starts to sing something that just hit him. "On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me four maps to Kaiba's." Joey pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Mai. "Oh thanks Joseph!"

Kaiba stops struggling for a minute to look at Joey with death in his eyes. "Three blue eyes." Kaiba mouths over to a snickering Joey, 'Your ass is mine after this.'

"Two diamond rings. Seto darling is this Alerbaster road or Aierbostor road." Mai asked looking at Joey's screwed up map. Kaiba quickly grabs the map and rips it up into piece.

"And a Yugi sitting in a pear tree." she reaches across Yami for Yugi, but Yami quickly smacks her hand. "Oww." she pouts as she rubs her hand.

Pegasus joyfully and happily stands up with his hands clasp together. He gives out one of his childish smile and sings. "On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five millennium eye pieces."

Joey is leaning over a table with pen and paper. "Four maps to Kaiba's." He straightens up and turns to Mai. "Here you go, better than the first." Mai reaches for it, but Kaiba intercepts it. "Why you little chiwawa come here!" Kaiba jumps on Joey and starts beating him up.

"Three blue eyes!" Kaiba said as he continued to pound Joey.

"Two diamond rings!" Mai goes over to Kaiba and tries to grab him, but one of his elbows come flying back and hit here in the face. Knocking poor Mai out.

"And a Yugi sitting in a pear tree." Tea puts her arms around Yami. "Hey you're not exactly Yugi, but your close enough." She grabs Yami tightly and begins to kiss him.
Bakura and grandpa look at Mai to see if she's okay, while Joey is black and blue. He throws Kaiba off him and begins returning the blows.

Miss Prelaxen smiles happily, "Yes, everyone keep up this wonderful energy. Give this more life!" she said waving her hands around in circles with great emotion.

Tristan looks at everyone and laughs "On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, uh…um…six cans of hairspray." Joey stops hitting Kaiba a moment and looks at Tristan.

"Six cans of hairspray?! Where da hell that come from?!" Joey yelled, since he was distracted Kaiba took his right foot and brought it over in front of Joey face, knocking Joey off of him and onto the floor. He got back on top of him and began giving him more black and blue spots.

"Five millennium eye pieces." Pegasus singed as he appeared in a pink bunny costume, Miss Prelaxen applauded loudly.

"Mmm.hhmm…tmmh..Kmmhs." Joey tried to speak, but Kaiba was choking him and pounding his head into the floor.

"Three blue eyes!" Kaiba shook Joey more roughly, "Die you dog." Kaiba smiled sadistically.

"…." Mai is still unconscious on the floor

"Mmmm…. Oh!" Tea let go of Yami to speak her part. She brushed her hair back and straightened her skirt. "And a Yugi sitting in a pear tree." As soon as she had released Yami he stood up and pushed Yugi back to her. "That girl is crazy!" Yami leans into Yugi's ear "And a sucky kisser."

Yugi is trying to keep from dying laughing as the cue falls onto him, "On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven millennium items." Tea grabs Yugi and begins kissing him. Yugi struggles as she suffocates him

Tristan sits down and starts to read a book on getting a date. "Six cans of hair spray."

Pegasus runs out in front of everyone wearing a black tuxedo, as his voice sounds like a deep tenor. "Five millennium… eye pieces!" Out of nowhere the room explodes with loud applauses. "Thank-you, thank-you." Pegasus is saying as he bows from left to right.

Kaiba gets off Joey after punching him in the nose one more time. Joey is dazed and seeing stars flying around his head.. "FoUr MaPs tO kAIbA's…" Joey spoke before falling back down.

Kaiba stands smugly as he brushed himself off. "Three blue eyes."
"…." Mai is still unconscious!

"….mhmm…smmmhh..m…mhhh." Tea said as she kissed Yugi still. I think that's supposed to be 'and a Yugi sitting in a pear tree.'

Bakura looks at everyone and begins to shake his head. "On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight sacred scrolls."

Tea is still kissing Yugi. Yugi is now turning blue from lack of air; he begins to tickle Tea as his vision is growing darker. She pulls away and begins to laugh. "Tehee! Tehhee!" "Seven…HELP!" Yugi started to speak, but Tea tried to grab him again. He takes off running across the stage.

Tristan who is oblivious to all this is still reading his book about dating. "Six cans of hairspray."

Pegasus is nowhere to be seen, but suddenly the lights go out and a spot light comes on. It's pointed up towards, a balcony!? Pegasus stands on top of the railing dressed as a… Spanish outlaw! He grabs a rope that magically appears and swings down with a rose in his teeth towards the unconscious Mai.

He lands gracefully before Mai and picks her up. Her eyelids begin to flutter and she looks up to him. He hands her the rose as she blushes and smiles. She jumps down to embrace him. Pegasus smiles brightly. As the others looked at him they could have sworn they saw a sparkle come off his teeth.

"Five millennium eye pieces." He looks down to Mai, "Do you want Chinese or Italian for dinner?" (My favorite foods!) Mai smiles brightly," Whatever you want."

" FouRR….MipS Too… KibA." Joey said still disorient

"Three blue eyes."

"Two diamond rings." Mai looks up to Pegasus and smiles, as he magically produces two BIG diamond rings. "OH! I LOVE YOU!" she yells

Tea is too busy trying to catch Yugi to notices her turn. "Come back here darling!!" Yugi runs down a set of stairs doing about 45.

Mokuba is sitting on the couch as he plans out his big party he's going to have while he's on vacation on a small notepad. "On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine days of fun."

"Eight sacred scrolls."

An obsessed Tea is still chasing Yugi, as he dives into a broom closet.
"Six cans of hairspray."

Pegasus and Mai stands in front of everyone dressed as Romeo and Juliet! He gets down on one knee and takes hold of her hand. "Five millennium eye pieces." Mai swoons slightly.

"…." Joey is lying on the floor murmuring gibberish to himself. Bakura stands over Joey to see if he is okay.

Kaiba walks over to Yami and sits down thumbing through his deck. "Three blue eyes."

"Two gorgeous diamond rings!" Mai looks at her hand and kisses Pegasus over and over again as she started to talk really fast about all the things she wanted..

"Yugi Mutou, come out that closet right now!" Tea yelled pounding on the door.

Grandpa is sitting on a chair in the furthest corner of the room away from the other characters. "It's your turn Grandpa!" Miss Prelaxen said in a cheery tone. Grandpa looked at her and shook his head no, "No. I'm not joining this can of mixed nuts." Miss Prelaxen began to give him a pouting look.

But when he decided to look away, it was too late. He had been hooked by her sad, puppy dog look. "Ok," He began to clear his throat slightly. "On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me," Grandpa stops and looks at the others "Ten years of silence!"

Mai didn't hear it and Tea definitely didn't. Mokuba looked over his pad to look at Grandpa quizzically. "Nine days of fun."

Bakura is looking Joey over again since the blonde hadn't twitched in the last two minutes. "Eight sacred scrolls." Bakura feels for a pulse. He turns and yells to Miss Prelaxen,

"Kaiba killed Joey….I think." Bakura looks at Joey's throat again. After hearing Bakura's cry Tristan went to stand over Joey's battered body. "You don't feel his pulse?" Tristan spoke casually and cool. Bakura nodded vigorously. "So he probably died" Tristan spoke casually and cool once again. Bakura nodded even harder this time.

Tristan was quite as Bakura looked at him in suspense. He finally spoke. "Oh well. Let's grab some lunch." Bakura's mouth hit the floor, as did his face.

When Tristan had said that Joey had jumped up from the floor. He grabbed Tristan by the collar and began to shake him, "What the hell do you mean 'Oh well, let's grab some lunch.' Kaiba could have killed me ya idiot!" Bakura had recovered and began to smile.

"If he did it was because you asked for it." Tristan said breaking Joey grasp. Kaiba laughed. "I'd have to agree." "Stay outta this money bags." Joey snarled. Kaiba stood and rolled his sleeves up smiling, "Make me." Kaiba walked up to him as they stood face to face. Joey threw a punch. "Oh I...." Bakura had walked right into Joey's fist. Bakura fell to the floor unconscious.

Kaiba took the opportunity and begin to punch Joey. Tristan upset by the fact that Joey had called him an idiot, joined in on the war. "Um, guys. How bout we finish this song and just leave." Mokuba said looking on. Grandpa stands with anger on his face. "Everyone not fighting or doing something stupid, finish this song so we can get out of here!"

Yami stands up and takes the missing people's line. "Seven millennium items. Six cans of hairspray!" Pegasus is bout to do a long drawn out scene, but Grandpa quickly jumps up in front of him " Five millennium eye pieces! Skipping four, three, and two to one. And a Yugi sitting in a pair tree."

Grandpa runs past an ax holding Tea to get to the others from Yugioh. "Every one skip eleven and go to twelve! "On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve hours of Yugi."

Grandpa and Yami are putting on their coats as they finish up. "Skipping ten, nine, eight, seven, and six. Five millennium eyepieces, skipping four, three, and two to one. And a Yugi sitting in a pair tree!" Grandpa and Yami turn to Miss Prelaxen, "Good-bye!"

Miss Prelaxen smiles and waves to them, "Bye, I can't wait for us to do this for the show tomorrow night!" She smiles brightly at the others. Bakura is unconscious on the floor, while Kaiba, Joey, and Tristan are still fighting, Tea is cutting her way into the broom closet as Yugi screams at the top of his lungs, Mokuba is sitting back down working on his party again, and Mai is comforting a crying Pegasus.

"They ruin my big moment." He sobbed harder. "There, there darling, it's okay." She smiles and pats his head, "Do I still get the mansion and the wardrobe?"

The remaining cast of Yugioh are packing up their stuff and leaving.
Miss Prelaxen stands and walks off the stage. She walks to the bottom and yells up to everyone. "Alright everyone, I'm expecting all this energy and the exact same thing for tomorrow!"

'This is going to be a wondeeeerful performance.' She thought to her self as she walked out the door.

~*~*~ Fin ~*~*~

Author Notes.

Okay a little to goofy, but it was fun to write it! I couldn't figure out how to enter, so I told myself I would do my favorite type of story, 12 Days of Christmas Parody! When I typed 'Alerbaster' I meant that and not 'Alabaster'.

This was my very first posting on about six years ago. I decided to just complete my parody collections. Just for you T!
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Submitted on
June 28, 2006
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